I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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