It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
