You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I wish I only lived at night.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The power of my boobs compel you
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
