My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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