it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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