WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
