Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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