we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
