it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
