So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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