Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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