just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize