I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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