also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
