Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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