So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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