so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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