Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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