wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize