OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
