I am spending my child support on dildos
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
