I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
