is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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