from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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