Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
