I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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