Little spoons don't ask big questions
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
