He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
