He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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