Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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