I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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