Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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