ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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