yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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