I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize