Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
hell yes lets make some ravioli
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just found a bag of teeth...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
