I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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