Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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