Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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