If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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