y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
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we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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