You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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