I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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