ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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