I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
