Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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