i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize