I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
