THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
