God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
