We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
