Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
