my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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