Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
