i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
