guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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