How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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