oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
